I'm so tired of the self-conscious, generic way people speak on the internet.

For now, I have many intense feelings. I love life, and to be honest, good or bad, everything that is going on around me and happening to me I find more exciting than anything else.

It's hard to write in this journal at the moment because a lot of it is so personally involved with other people, it would be rude to post online.

I'm working in Dad's office for his painting company for a few weeks. He banged on about how hard I would have to work and how I would have to get up at 5:30am every morning, but so far I have gotten up at 7 and the only thing I have done in 2 hours is make him a cup of tea, answer one telephone call (for someone who wanted to speak to the other receptionist!) and photocopy something onto grey paper.

I think it's what they call a "cushy number".

What do I get for this? I get tickets to Jello Biafra and the Guantanamo School of Medicine and a far better than average pay, cash in hand too I think.

Before I lived a semi-working-class life in England for nine months I would have revelled in this and tried to make the work even more minimal, but now I am embarrassed and feel like a heel in front of everyone who is actually working here.

Jello will be in London early next month with his new band.

What will I think of him when I go? I'm on tenterhooks.

It looks like I'm going to see a local punk band tonight. I wonder if they're any good...

In other news Johnny, I love Darby.

I am never gonna offer anything I am not sure I am going to deliver on, to anyone, ever.

TOTAL

STRESSOUT.

In California!? How can this be!?

My aunt and uncle's house is amazing. It's kind of all dark woods and stone, and it has a beautiful backyard of paths and plants growing naturally up behind it. If you walk a way up the hill there's a great view of Laguna Beach Canyon. They live on the road leading into Laguna Beach. There are loads of rich-ass houses crowded high up on the hill, and every year or so, I imagine, one of them just falls off the cliff.

Of course it sucks if anyone died, but it's funny in the sense that when you look up there, it looks like all the houses are just falling over themselves to be the biggest house closest to the cliff edge. It's like a metaphor for American excess.

There are so many fast food chains here I can't believe it. You sort of feel like people would start to stand up and go "now wait a minute, this is getting ridiculous". But no, there are just scads and scads of them all lined up everywhere, all selling the same thing in progressively worse quality. It's so insulting to the human race.

Must stop now, my Biafran warble is starting to make me cough.

I'm starting to understand privacy more; as in, I've been feeling more like a private person lately. I used to just say anything about myself, and not care what I kind of let fly. Now that's changing a little, I see it in the way I think and speak, and what I choose to do and say, and why.

I wonder why that is, what it means.

Start wearing purple, wearing purple...